Snickers' Dictionary

Peanutopolis: \pE-nut-ah-pu-lis\ (noun). A state of mind making you feel very strong and powerful, almost mayor-like.

# and my Favorite

Nougatocity: \new-gat-ah-si-tE\ (noun). A heightened yet fleeting state of accomplishment that makes you realize how unbelievably unmotivated you normally are.

Certain little quote thingys

"Innocence is the unwillingness to accept the truth."

"The truth is what was given to us."

"True peace is only achieved when the throbbing stops."

"Love is a dillusion that keeps the heart from stopping."

"Freedom is given, choices are what is allowed, and we give it."

"Death is a celebration ruined by tears."

That Healing Solution

the safety and peace i desire
is lost forever
what more i want than nothing
i can not maintain
i feel the water fall over my body
whether it be holy
whether i breath it all in
i wish it to wipe away all my sin
it only reminds me of your healing touch
i miss it so much
love me like the water fall
flowing through all
twisting and going
your face, its glowing
i look up at it in all its glory
i feel the chapter in my story
coming to an end only to start another
care for me like a mother
i need that love from which you give
do you wish to see me live
i feel the water rush over me
lean my head back and wet my body
stream to river of life
can you feel my strife
with this water in my hands
i give to you all the strands
to my heart and help me
to float gently
to the very end we all seek for.

Mossy and Decayed

mossy and decayed,

i gaze upon this statute of his being

telling me all yet holding deeper secrets

with what i find from looking, it all is old

dead and gone, i dig deeper

remanants of a past, of a life

deep with in the trunk

the pillar bleeds out

on my hands i find a staining agent

what i know is lost for i am embezelled

lost in this object i try to find its peace

the peace it could not find itself

but at what cost must i suffer as it did

so now i trudge on, baring the load

what did i get into, i am not this bold

perhaps this is what its demise was

forward moving, forever solem, i only dare grow old.

Ruined

technology hanging from inside my head
held it so long i bled, and blend with my skin
wires from my neck to sustain life
my resporator beeping with every second
the combinations to my life repeated sequentially
all other digits have blended into a prodding stick
voices in my skull tell me to try again but just scream
the message i leave, is lost when no one cares
remove the last trace of my being
with the silence i start to cry
remove the plug and i will die
just whisper into the reciever
i will say all that i can
this machine has ruined man.

a war

a war inside my head, of my heart and brain yelling at each other
the violence that treads from the thoughts only burns myself
i dare not tell the horrors for fear of scaring others
peace inside is what i desire, but only what burns to be brought
to the top it shows its ugly face, i push it down
if only i could take your hand, i would show you
look into me and i will show you what i cannot say
feelings of lost will be taken over by feelings of worth
have me here, take me home with you, by your side.

Heart Beat

A heart beat is a precious thing. so listen to it when you can especially someone else's. Each beat, each second gone, but yet just another ache, could be the beginning or end of another beat. That rthymn is lost to the abyss of the cold ground. So cherish the beat and remember it very intently.