I Do Not

i do not bring it upon myself for pitty
i do not bring myself to this state
i do not bring all missery at my feet
it all just falls into my lap
i cannot handle what you throw
i do what i know
it may seem like i ran
but this is what i wanted for ever and a day
i hide behind this exterior to keep safe
what i feel inside
to see what is in me, would only ruin your eyes
to see what is in me, would only destroy your mind
what i feel inside
should not be held onto by anyone
should not be fathomed
i try to destroy it but it just keeps coming to me
i hate it
i do not want it
i do not want my life.