With Me I'll Hold

with me i'll hold
spare me till im old
till the light of the coming sun
easterly ill head till dawn
with my head in my hand and my sanity gone
ill travel to find peace and solice
devilish temptations
red lips of crimison and blood
gentle pain and insane love
dont tear from me
with me i'll hold
dont tear from me
with me i'll love
dont tear from me
my one last desire, my love
my heart, it beats for you.

My One Last Wish

for this which i feel
i have no name for this
for which is real
i feel no bliss
empty depth in my soul
i have no words to bleed
i have a hole
i wish to seed
my one last wish
i have a need to flush out my pain
delve into my sight
train your eye and fix upon this
i have no delight
life is a meaningless horde which to dis
tell me nothing to keep
my sanity to crush
all those who weep
but only brush me away
off this sleeve
i dare not leave
my one last wish
fnish me with a kiss.

Silence

Why do i have the power to talk
do i know what i say
i wish i could be silent
the words i say only burn and scar
if i could only be quiet and see what you think and feel

what does the silence do to you
it digs and tears at you
it leaves lasting holes
to talk would only destroy my humanity
must i even breath and cry to be alive
nothing i say can fix it
nothing i do will fix it
if i can do or say nothing
i shall be nothing any more.

I Do Not

i do not bring it upon myself for pitty
i do not bring myself to this state
i do not bring all missery at my feet
it all just falls into my lap
i cannot handle what you throw
i do what i know
it may seem like i ran
but this is what i wanted for ever and a day
i hide behind this exterior to keep safe
what i feel inside
to see what is in me, would only ruin your eyes
to see what is in me, would only destroy your mind
what i feel inside
should not be held onto by anyone
should not be fathomed
i try to destroy it but it just keeps coming to me
i hate it
i do not want it
i do not want my life.

Ma Headfones

i turn up my headphones to drown you out
i turn up my headphones to keep it out
i turn up my headphones to save myself
if i go deaf, it is only to better serve myself to save my soul
my head and body
but i turn them up only to keep the words out
i crank them up to silence the world
i blare them to help me heal
the one thing that makes me, heals me
i blash the headphones to keep me sane.

I Hate This

i hate the heart that was given to me
i hate the mouth that only speaks pain
i hate the head that was given to me because it only hold ruin

the heart it only beats in vein
spilling these feelings that only fuck with you
bleeding the truths deep inside
throbbing my body violently till death

the mouth it vomits the lies
breaking the silence
only to shatter worlds and break wills
this insturument must be silenced

the head only contains the evil
no happiness inside, only pain
beat it in the ground to make it go away
only to come back with more ferocity than before
i wish to leave here now

comfort me, i am lost
lead me, i need guidence
council me, i am unknowledgable
silence me, i hurt those around me

I Noticed

i noticed you confused me
i noticed you didnt care
well what did you want
me to bend and give
i noticed you left
i noticed you didnt care
why didnt i realize it
now i can see
clearer and brighter
my heart and mind sing out
im sick of this shit
dont lie to me
i am not here to bleed for you
ungreatful, insolent person
i noticed the truth too late
i noticed the pain instantly
thank you for the ride,
now i know, how it all works
i will never trust again.